My dream

Hi everyone. Ths is great day for me. Lot of my friends got placed in GoFrugal today( I am bit jealous though) but i am trying out....

Everyone knows what it means to feel dark in heart. Darkness which fills with sadness that cannot be cured by any medicine. I don't know about your darkness but i know mine.

Mine was filled with fear that i couldn't achieve my dream.

I was always told and adviced by my parents and teachers to dream and to follow dream. But they never said how to follow and achieve the dream. They never even said what will be circumstances.

When I was 8, i used to think that its easy to achieve dream, I myself felt at apex of giza.

When i was 10, I understood that its rather difficult to fulfill my dream than I expected and I fealt to loose anything in my life to achieve taht dream. I decided  to work hard. From then i really worked hard but my only problem is I hate exams. "I really hate them".

Its difficult for me to write exam eventhough i prepared very well. It's still difficult when i carry chits and answers on my pad (I guess everyone does that).
But i made it sucessfully.

Hurrah!!!! I passed my school,college with high grades than i ever expected. Now real problem starts.

I prepared for IIT.AIEEE and EMCET. Not sure about IIT and EMCET but i got good marks in AIEEE. Finally i am in engineering.

Now really really the problem of survival starts. People feel themselves as deers and fill one department without thinking. They just mimic others. But i thought for a day,two days,three days. Now my time came.

I thought to last minute of my dream,i wanted to be a scientist,a researcher because i felt like scientists are cool. They create life and kill them, rule them. Thats what i felt when i was 10. So my dream was to become mad scientist with cool lab coat and spects. Its crazy though.  But as i became big the mad scientist story became mad and i changed my dream to scientist with lab coat. What i really want to become is, I am interested in nano particles,sub atomic particles,aliens,sky etc... U can call them as quantum physics, Astro physics, Extra tterrestrial freak study etc. this is my biggest dream.

But as everyone i was forced to take computer science(Not that i dont like computer,i break and fix computer's hardware and software better than super robot) but i like scientist more than software geek, i think i was born with that kind of stuff in my brain.

I adjusted and took ICT and succesfully executed 3 years. Now i am final year. Then freak show started. Placements....., GRE...., GATE...., CAT.... My friends and I became book nerds and computer geeks from past two months.

I went to 11 interviews till now and got kicked out(although i am happy that my friends made through,not because i like them but i am happy that my competition becomes less).

After these 11 interviews i started feeling something is going to happen in my life. Something bad and dark. Then i remembered my dream and wanted to follow that dream.

I felt like even i get 1,00,000 package per month i will not be happy. I struggled inside and came to a decision.I fixed my heart and brain that i will either get job in company which offers R&D or do MS in US.

I am trying to follow this path.

I will wait till my dream thirst fulfills.....


By,
Dark sudheer seeking light.
(I always write like this don't freak)